I’ve loved music since I was a kid. I have fond memories of singing songs in children’s church as a youngster, or of my dad playing the Beatles or Rush on the family stereo system on Saturday mornings. When I was in elementary school, my own musical tastes began to emerge, only to be more fully developed in middle school, high school, and college. I had a collection of tapes that I would listen to in my room when I was young (early favorites were by artists like Reality Check, Ian Eskelin, and Fold Zandura). Eventually I upgraded to a CD player (the first CD I owned was Skillet’s self-titled album). I started playing percussion in the school band in 5th grade and began learning the drum set a couple years after that. Now I’m not a professional musician, of course, or even an expert, but music has still been an important part of my life.
However, I was thinking recently about how my experience of music has changed in the last decade or so. The change happened without me really noticing at the time. In short, my engagement with music has become more private.
For years, music was something that helped me build connections with other people. It was a bridge in developing friendships with others. Now of course, my friends and I didn’t all have identical tastes, but there was often some overlap. If a new album by a favorite artist was released, there were other interested people to discuss it with. If I met someone who shared a fandom for a particular artist (especially if it was a fairly obscure one), it created an instant connection. My enjoyment of music was something that took place in the context of community and relationship.
That isn’t the case these days as much. I don’t talk about music with others very often. It’s rare that I discover a new band based on the recommendation of a friend, or that I make recommendations to others. For the most part, the topic doesn’t even come up.
I wonder: Why the change? I can think of three possibilities:
- The experience is unique to me. Maybe my musical tastes are too obscure, or at just don’t fit with people in my age and location. Maybe I’ve just forgotten how to use music to build a bridge with others. Maybe everyone else still uses music as a point of connection, but for whatever reason, I’ve stopped doing so.
- Maybe this is just part of adulthood. It could be that music tends to be a more formative experience in youth, but by the time you hit your 30’s, it’s not really something that binds people together so much. Maybe the change I’ve noticed in myself is just something that happens at this time of life.
- Maybe the experience is due to changes in our culture or in our technology. When I was a teenager or a college student, music was played on stereos. With speakers. It was easy to walk by someone else’s dorm room and notice that they were bumping a song that you dug too. But today, we engage with music differently. We listen through headphones plugged into our smartphones, or maybe on tinny laptop speakers. Because of that, maybe we’ve gotten used to enjoying music alone rather than in groups. Could it be that the means by which music is delivered has changed the role music plays in our relationships?
I’m not sure which of these possibilities is the true one. Maybe all three are, to a point. If you’re a music fan, have you noticed the same trend in your own life and relationships? Is music something that helps tie you to others, or has it become something more private?
And finally, what are you listening to these days? Some artists that I’ve discovered over the past couple years that I have been enjoying include: John Van Deusen, The Gray Havens, Dens, My Epic, and Reawaken Hymns. Check them out!
A Few Words 